Ache

During the way of council I became aware of an ache in my body - an all over ache but mostly centralized in my lower dantien & pelvic region. It’s a familiar ache that has been with me for as long as I remember, and yet, as I move throughout my days/nights, weeks/months/years, ache has become easy to ignore. This morning I am aware of it’s gnawing presence and wonder what would happen if I befriend ache instead of ignoring this persistent hunger. 

In ache’s desperation ache is desperate to be known. 

With a ball of clay I wedge and coil build a vessel to hold ache...to make ache more visible ~ to separate myself from ache ~ to give ache it’s own clay body

~ and as an inquiry... 

who would I be in my clay body without the hunger of ache ever present?

On my way to the studio this morning I was going to put my vessel in the bisque fire but it became clear to me that ache did not want to be vitrified (hardened). There is something in it’s raw fragility that feels important to preserve for it wasn’t ache that was the problem, it was how hardened and frozen in form it became. The vessel needs to stay in this vulnerable, moist, cool, raw form - to be held with kindness, care and reverence ~ so as to open to a new way of being with ache, perhaps as a longing that re-awakens and breaks my heart open to never again close to the rest of the world.