Kiyomizu no butai kara tobioriru清水の舞台から飛び降りる
Kiyomizudera Temple
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Kiyomizudera Temple 〰️
Kiyomizu no butai kara tobioriru is a Japanese expression I learned from Watami @wabisavillage, which literally means to jump off the stage at Kiyomizudera temple. The figurative meaning is to fully commit oneself to a big decision or action despite risk or chance of failure.
When I sold my home Sept 2021 and launched into the world with no particular footholds it felt a bit like Kiyomizu no butai kara tobioriru. I was giving up the home I raised my daughter and my first puppy in… a home at the end of a dirt road, nestled beside the Skeena River and a home that was witness to so many memories. I loved this home and, yet, it was giving me the nudge and blessing to let go and venture out into the world as I came to hear the quiet voice within that longed to empty and begin again.
Since selling my home I haven’t lived anywhere for longer than 6 months and now I am in Japan for 3 months, 2 of which are in Sasama at an art residency. I am struck with the realization that my approach to ceramics needs to change now that I have no permanent residence. I can’t accumulate artifacts to weigh me down as I enjoy a lightness of being with very few possessions. Besides I am limited to 5-6 pieces in the Anagama firing in June so this presents some challenges/opportunities.
Talking with my good friend and artist Joan Turecki today helped me see how restrictions/limits can somehow make things more valuable. Joan had an idea of creating a photo essay and my heart quickened at the thought.
A big part of my art practice is being with artifacts for a period of time and then finding a place in the world where they belong and photograph in situ. I realize I can take that part of my practice a bit further now by creating a photo essay of raw pieces in situ and then start over without necessarily needing to fire them. When we began to discuss this I noticed a feeling of anxiety in my body as I recognized the urge to grasp, hold on, and the part of my being that is motivated to create pieces to market, sell, and exhibit.
We launched into a deeply enriching and emotional conversation about impermanence, fluidity, loss, and ultimately Love. We explored how when we hold onto things too tightly we constrict and block the flow. I recalled times in my life when I have loved deeply and leaned gently, and sometimes slowly, into the pain of letting go…and, in this moment, felt how some memories are still tender to the touch. I am reminded of what drew me to clay in the first place…a quickening in my heart…a vitality flooding through my body...an inner life force stirred by contact with this earthy material.
This begs the question...
Can I invest so much in bringing a form to life, be with that form, find where it belongs in the world and then… let it go back to its original state?
Ultimately, isn’t this the path I find myself on???…to be brought into physical form in this clay body, be with my true nature, find where I belong and then return to dust?
It resonates very strongly with my journey and the notion of impermanence and how to truly live from a place of openness, flow, allowing and letting go without closing off to Love but increasingly widening/opening to the world so we can see and be seen by this miraculous existence.
The discipline for me then will be to invest wholeheartedly into bringing into being these forms, engage in a relationship with them and decide which pieces have more to say or, for some reason, are being asked to endure the alchemy of fire and be transformed into something new. The others will be photographed in their raw state as part of a photo essay and then returned to their original state. And, as I play with this idea I can see it opening up other possibilities like this work I did and filmed in my backyard ~ Held. Over time, rain, wind, weather and typhoon washed all remains of the clay away until there was no evidence anywhere.
Sometimes life throws us curve balls that change the direction of our lives and sometimes we summon the courage to commit to life changing decisions or actions despite risk or chance of failure… even when it feels like we are jumping off the stage at Kiyomizu-dera temple…and unsure if/how we will go on.
I find myself at the stage of Kiyomizadera temple in Kyoto, with my daughter and her best friends, contemplating big life decisions and living beside the Sasama River - locating myself near water and the flow - ever reminding and teaching me to be fluid. This new approach to my work will allow me to pause in the continuum of life to recognize what has meaning and what truly matters.
